NitemareZ comes again...

my nitemare comes again...
i m very scary n lonely....

tis nitemare will alwiz appear in my mind....

wanna noe the story behind my nitemare, stay tuned

actually, tis nitemare comes from my past life....
i alredi live with my grandparents since i born....
i wonder y i cannot live with parents like others ?
mummy is not working...so by rite she can spend time on take care of me...
but tis things never happen...
izit my fault 2 be born into tis world ?

talk about childhood, i m not happy like other child....
they are so happy with their lives...
they can have nice moment with parents, can get watever they wan....
y i cant ?
i dun have nice moments with parents, coz i not living with them...
i cant get wat i want...
i keep asking myself:"y the god is so unfair 2 me ?"
schoolmates keep criticized tat i dun have parents or watsover....
hey, u tink i wan 2 be like tat ?
i juz wan 2 have parents warm love n caring !!!!
but i dun have any !!!
is tat oso wrong ?

in secondary skol life, my grandparents try 2 let me stay with my parents....
n tis is saddest things ever in my life....
my mum, keep scolding me from morn until nite....
n she's not ordinary scolding....
she even can take cane or anything around her 2 beat me....
she manage 2 beat me until i cry....
every nite i cry in my room n say"y i have tis kind of mother ? how come she cant treat me better? i oso got feeling...i m not robot, 2 let u control like tat..."
when i was sad....no 1 cares me....
my dad wun even ask me wat was happening....
same thing happen 2 my little sis n bro...
who cares me ? i m so lonely at tat time !!! i feel tat i am so hopeless !!!
i move back 2 live with my grandparents after 1 year...

uni life, at tis time my thinking shud be matured ad....
but answer is NO !!!
even i see ppl happy, especially those with family, i will start 2 be sad....
i asking myself "y their parents so nice 1?"

tats y until now, i duno how 2 care about ppl feelings !!!
i duno how 2 make ppl happy !!!
i duno everything tat can communicate well with ppl !!!
so even got ppl hate me, i wun feel strange !!!

but i juz noe tat, the oni happiness i can get is by helping ppl those who in needs.....
after i help them, naturally happiness comes 2 me....
n perhaps tis is modern ppl so called stupid attitude ~ like 2 help ppl...

i juz hope tat tis nitemare wun come again....
i reli wicked-sick of tis nitemare..
pls go away from my life...
any1 can help me ?
hope someday, somehow, someone can help me T.T


ღnickeyღ